International Marriages: The Secret of Success

International marriage is not for people who are afraid of failures but for those who like to discover and venture into a more adventurous life to achieve happiness and fulfillment. It requires to look at the world in a different way. Incorporating two cultures, learning new skills, language and the most important thing is the extra care and understanding of your foreign partner. Looking into a result of two people with different cultures, language and behaviors living under one roof and sharing life together that can be passed along to future generations.

Any marriage requires commitment, consideration, devotion and work whether it’s an international marriage or marrying someone from your own country. Though it is a given fact that international marriages need more care because of the hindrance due to different backgrounds and values.

The increased number of intermarriages between Filipino women and Japanese men since the 1980s, that accompanied the arrival of Filipino female migrants, mostly entertainers. Tracing the Filipino-Japanese intermarriages through their nightclub encounters, thus ending in rush marriages not realizing the consequences in the end.

After marriage, Filipino wives describe their Japanese husbands from their own point of view. They characterize their husbands by personality and the way they behave during their encounters. If both parties are serious and willing to have their marriage last, they have to learn how to compromise.

Marriage is not just a piece of paper that can be thrown away and forget about what happened. Especially for Filipinos, marriage is a sacred pact between two people in love and willing to accept each other. Acceptance means accepting your partner wholeheartedly.

Before entering into this sacred pact, both parties should learn the pros and cons of marrying someone from another country. Different countries, different language and cultures, customs and beliefs. Reading, talking and learning about one another’s culture. Visiting each others birthplace, and learning more about their partner will give a big boost in their relationship. Another factor to consider is religion. Both have conflicting views when it comes to religion. Views on ethics, morality, family traditions are only few to mention that influence a couple’s decisions. It is acceptable that the early years of marriage raises so many issues and difficulties between the couple that they have to focus on for the sake of the family they are building. Before entering an intermarriage, you will have to find someone who shares your beliefs and make an effort to adjust to find a common ground.

Japanese men are typically bar-hoppers after office hours. They are also known to be workaholic, prioritizing their jobs over their family obligations. Some professionals tend to work overtime, leaving the burden of care work at home to their Filipino wives. However, some Japanese husbands exert more effort to come home early after work. There are also a number of Japanese husbands who share care work with their wives, including child-rearing. Many husbands express finding fulfillment as husbands and fathers.

Financial factor is also important for every marriage. Money management can be one cause of stress for most couples, that can sadly lead to divorce. Both should manage their financial conflicts. Lastly, always remember that marriage is a two way street, it works both ways. Be open and be honest.

To date, a significant number of Japanese husbands are found to be willing to learn Filipino or English that implies open-minded approach in this intermarriage. Filipino women are reciprocating as well, thus conquering the hurdles.

So far, successful marriages between Japanese men and Filipino women are increasing as they have learned how to resolve the barriers surrounding a marriage between “two different different worlds.”